June is an exciting month over at Dare to Dream. The founder, Whitney Johnson has collected thoughtful guest posts from her treasure chest of friends and invited one and all to listen and comment. Each comment will put your name in the hat for a $75 spa certificate, and Whitney is giving away one cert. per week! Take the time to read....you'll be glad you did.
This week I'm guest posting based on a recent challenge I've taken on much thanks to Whitney's encouragement. I'm compiling lessons I've learned from my mom (& I've invited my siblings to contribute) based on letters and journal entries my mom left behind. Her text is a treasure filled with gems of life lessons; her thoughts and experiences while raising a household of 10 children, working hard on to her marriage, laughing at antics, crying at losses, etc. Her text is evidence to me that she has walked in my shoes and knows how to be there for me now. Head on over to Dare to Dream for a snippet of my labor of love for the mother I miss dearly.
This experience of writing my mom's story got me thinking of two things; what I regret not doing with my mom while she was alive, and things my mom left behind that I treasure today. Feel free to pass this blog post along...
What I regret not doing...
- Whitney requested a photo of me and my mom. I looked & looked & looked. Nothing.
The photo on the left is priceless...my mom offering love to her baby and toddler (my brother & sister) simultaneously. I do think there are a couple photos out there somewhere of me and my mom, but probably just a couple. How did this happen? I would love a photo of me with my mom taken without us knowing while we were doing everyday things....cooking, mating socks, reading, weeding...anything. Too late. But it's not too late for me to give that to my children. And so I have learned to get out from behind the camera now and then...
- I wish I had more silly memories of me and my mom, even just one more. I ask my kids what we've done together that's simply silly & fun and they say: screaming on a rollercoaster ride, water balloon fight, funky dance moves, steam rollers.
- I wish I went to the temple more often with my mom. I only got to go once with her and it was wonderful.
- I regret any grief I gave her. From her writings I have a better picture of her mental and emotional state. Now that I'm a mother I have an idea what her schedule was like. I have an idea what her adult stresses felt like. I don't want my kids to feel the burden I've felt, and so we talk through things a lot. It's hard work. It can be draining. I know my mom gave all she could. I wish I was a better listener & didn't roll my eyes (mostly in my head) the way I did. She was so wise & honest, and it was hard to hear the truth sometimes.
Treasures from my mom.....
- Her journals and letters. When she was sick she even had others dictate for her at times. She was an honest writer, and it wasn't all flowery and pretty. I still learn from her writings that she has walked in my shoes and knows exactly how to relate to me and help me through my troubles. Sometimes when I wonder what she would do I look to her writings & I find her wisdom there.
- The photographs I do have of mom and our family are priceless.
- I have a couple pieces of her jewelry...I love them. I love that her sterling silver CTR ring came to me well worn.
- Recipes. There are particular favorites. I'll include them in her memoir. A friend of mine from growing up found me on facebook and recalled how my mom could whip up a wonderful dinner in no time.
- The embroidered sampler my mom made just for me while there were no less than 8 kids in the house. This gift inspired me to make lasting gifts for each of my children... for Wayne too.
- I have her voice on a tape she recorded for me while I was on my mission. To hear her say in contemplating who I'd marry that "No one will be good enough for our Becky" still brings me to tears. My mom never said anything like that to my face. Every child should hear their parents speak genuine loving praise...heart to heart.
- A letter from my mom telling me how she felt the day I was born, why she and my dad gave me my particular name, her love for me, and her testimony. Because of this I will never wonder how she felt about me, or where she stood. She inspired me to share these things with my children.
- Important conversations...owning up to mistakes, FORGIVENESS, "I love you's," and questions about eternal things. Hearing her say, "I'll always be there for you at the crossroads of your life." Feeling in our last hug that we will in fact reunite. No doubt.
What has your mother given you or left for you that you treasure?
I would love to hear your thoughts...even if you don't know me personally, this is something that we can all relate to as a child, parent, and/or sibling.
Treasure one another,
Posts
17 comments:
Becks, I am always so touched when you write bout your mom. It's beautiful. I am SURE she watches over you and is so proud, and happy and grateful.
Wow Rebecca. That was so touching, such a sweet reminder of the things we should do while we can.
LOVE the photo of your mom on the skateboard.
Great post!!!
I'm going to have to think more about answers to your questions once I stop crying. Thank you for posting this and for making me think.
Those are excellent lesson learned. Thank you so much for sharing these. I need to re-read...and often. Love you!
You are such a great mother, Rebecca. I'm sure it's because your Mom was such a great mother. I wish I had a closer relationship with my mom, but she's a very private person. I do get pictures with her, though, and I know I'll treasure those someday. Thanks for sharing!
Whenever you write about your mom, I see why you are such a wonderful mother. I've always admired how you connect with your kids. Thanks for this touching post.
I lost my mom when I was 10ish. She was diagnosed with cancer when I was 2 or 3 and so she was sick most of my life. I don't think there are things that I regret...because I was still just a kid. I do wish that she had written more than a 5 page journal. I appreciate things more now, as you said, because I am a mother. I appreciate that when she was cranky it was because she was sick & it's hard to be sick and nice at the same time! It's funny that you just posted this because I had a dream that she was still alive two nights ago...I really don't think THAT much about her...I wonder what she thinks about me and how life would be different if she had lived...so it was a lovely dream that I didn't want to wake up from!! Thanks for the post!
You really need to make these conversations between you and your mom into a book. It's lovely. And motivational. For those of us with mothers still living, what can we still learn from them? How can we make the best of the time we still have together... you leave opportunities for those answers to fall into place by reading your beautiful post. Thank you. Truly.
REbecca, I wanted to read more about your mother and what she taught you. So beautifully and powerfully written. Thanks. Bonnie White
I agree...you should make your posts about your mom into a special book---and get your siblings to write their thoughts and memories of her as well....what a treasure that would be!
Thanks for that beautiful post. I can't imagine what it would be like without my mother at this time in my life. I also love reading the precious things that you write about your mother. You encourage me to be a better mother and a better daughter!
thank you. thank you. thank you. my eyes are wet and my emotions are welling up inside me as i read about your mom. thanks to your inspiration, my boys each took a turn playing photographer with our camera so that each could get their photo. whatever you do, don't stop writing, for these are treasures every mother needs to read.
This is beautiful and you are a wonderful writer. You doing this is a good thing; a treasure.
I love your title "Wishes and Treasures." It fits so perfectly with my feeling as my mom is fighting a losing battle with cancer. My mom is an avid journal writer as am I. We've learned just what a treasure the written word can be. Thanks for sharing such tender thoughts and reminding me to get out from behind the camera.
Oh, Becky, what a tribute to your darling mother, Chris. How we all loved her---she set such a grand example of mothering for all of us. But when I see the picture of you and your family, I know she is smiling in Heaven for your good works. Thanks for sharing. Sue Stayner
Rebecca, I just finished reading your guest post and this one. Thank you for sharing about your mom. I regret not having asked you more about your mom when you were closer (in proximity) to us. You gave Brian and I a pie plate for our wedding and included your mom's strawberry pie recipe. Those of us who have lost parents at a young age feel connected somehow. Now making this pie will connect us. I am sorry that you didn't get to have your mom around for your adult years. I can only imagine how proud she must be of you. You are one of the most amazing people I know. Your work with her journal, and writing about your connections to her, are an inspiration & comfort. Well done.
That's such a sweet post. I can't imagine losing my Mom and living life without her. I'm sure she's so very proud of you!
Post a Comment